A sign was put in our front yard last night and our house is officially for sale! I want the house to sell, I want to move into a bigger place, but it will be very difficult to leave here. This living room where I'm sitting... this is where Josiah took his first steps. That bedroom where he's napping so peacefully... he's slept there every night since we brought him home from Nebraska. I look out into our backyard and I can see him laughing as he goes down the slide. I can see him grinning up at me as he sits in his lawn chair in his pool (because you can't just sit in the pool). I can see him as a baby, laying on a blanket on the floor, wiggling around and cooing. So many hours of rocking him when he didn't want to sleep or rocking him after he fell asleep and I just didn't want to let him go. My baby grew into a little boy in this house and I feel like I'll be giving up a piece of his childhood when we move.
But move we must. Josiah is 19 months old and we want to start pursuing another adoption. Even if we did pass a homestudy, it would be difficult to have two children in that bedroom. Two cribs won't fit and Josiah isn't ready to move to a big bed yet (and that wouldn't solve our space issue anyway). So we've decided to try to sell. I don't know what we'll do if our house doesn't sell. But I'm not going to worry about that because I trust in a God Who is big enough to handle this. He's the One Who's called us into orphan care and called us to grow our family through adoption and foster care. He knows this house is not big enough for the burden that He's laid on us. So He must have a plan. We're stepping out in faith and trusting that if this is not the path He wants us to take, He'll re-direct us.