Friday, November 8, 2013

Repentance

The Christian life is one of constant and frequent repentance.  Just when I think I'm starting to get it together, I'll read something or hear something and realize how wrong and sinful I've been.  An example: I have very strong opinions on the importance of Christians having kids.  Jesus had a heart for children.  One of the commands in the Bible is to go forth and multiply.  I believe Christians need to be adopting and being foster parents as well.  The world is in desperate need of Christian parents who raise godly kids who raise godly kids who raise godly kids for generations.  Our society is, instead, churning out people who are selfish and would rather have a new car or house or vacation home than kids.  It's a travesty and the church is buying into it.  It makes me angry and sad because I know it grieves the heart of God when we put our standard of living above children.  And I tend to judge couples who I know aren't having kids or are waiting because they want to accumulate a bunch of stuff first. 

And then I'll come across something like this.  A blog that I've started to follow has a weekly truth box where people can write "what everyone thinks is true" and "what actually is true."  I was reading through the post of 60 truths and read this one:
"What everyone thinks is true"  -  we're just waiting awhile to have kids
"What is actually true"  -  I've had four miscarriages that only my husband and I know about.  Just holding my friend's baby makes me want to cry.  I miss them so much even though I never knew them.

And just like that, I feel like God hit me right in the forehead with a 2x4.  "You think you know everyone's situation" He says to me "but you don't.  You judge and shout selfishness without knowing that this poor woman's heart has been smashed to pieces."  Repentance and tears follow. 

I'm not wrong about it being pure selfishness to put material comfort or the avoidance of inconvenience ahead of children.  In fact, I truly believe that many Christians will be answering to God on judgment day for that.  But to make an assumption about a couple when I don't know the situation is very wrong and one of the sins I tend to fall into rather frequently.  And that's why there must be constant and frequent repentance. 

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